Li Yundong’s face darkened upon hearing Meiniang’s words, as grim as if the Stove King himself had appeared; he remained silent with a thunderous expression. Su Chan, Zhou Qin, and the others from the Fox Zen Sect, being discreet individuals, wisely held their tongues as they observed Li Yundong's sullen face.
Only Meiniang watched Wuhua and Xiao Zhu, tutting in amazement. “I initially thought Boss Li had fallen for little Zhu at first sight, but who knew this freeloading monk would steal her away. Tsk tsk, Boss Li, you are truly devout…”
Li Yundong’s face grew even blacker. He said in a deep voice, “Don’t speak nonsense. Master Wuhua is an eminent monk of high virtue; he merely intended to…”
Before he could finish, he suddenly saw Wuhua taking Xiao Zhu’s hand, the two walking into a room as a pair. As Master Wuhua entered, he turned back, flashed Li Yundong a toothy grin, and then shut the door!
Li Yundong’s eyes instantly went wide, and he couldn’t help but exclaim, “Damn it, what is this about?”
Meiniang, standing nearby, pursed her lips and said casually, “What else would a young man and a young woman alone in a room do? Tsk tsk, Boss Li, you aren’t still a virgin, are you?”
Li Yundong flushed with shame and anger: “You talk too much! Don’t you think I know that?” But inwardly, he cursed: Even if this Wuhua must save this woman, must he make it so ambiguous? Now I feel like a piece of soft mud has dropped between my legs—it’s not shit, but it feels like it!
Meiniang covered her mouth, looking Li Yundong up and down: “Boss Li, could you really be a virgin?” The way she looked at him was as if she had discovered a peerless rare treasure, a creature on the verge of extinction.
Li Yundong grew even more frustrated. Before he could lose his temper, Su Chan, standing beside him, couldn't stand it any longer and burst out angrily, “You woman are truly annoying! If you didn't speak, no one would think you were mute!”
Zhou Qin, with a cold expression, added, “How much is the going rate? Take the money and leave quickly!”
Li Yundong glared at Zhou Qin: “What going rate! This isn't a call girl situation!”
Seeing that everyone was angry, Meiniang quickly plastered on a smile. “Alright, alright, it’s not a call girl situation. Boss Li, whatever you say it is, it is. As long as there’s money, everything is negotiable!”
Li Yundong, his face ashen, said, “How much? I’ll pay!”
Meiniang’s eyes darted around, and she held up two fingers: “A fixed price, two thousand!”
“Two thousand?” Zhou Qin and Su Chan shouted in unison. Zhou Qin retorted angrily, “Do you think this girl is a fairy descended from heaven? A going rate of two thousand?”
Meiniang said languidly, “She’s hardly a fairy descended from heaven, but Xiao Zhu truly did come from a place called Heaven and Earth. Heaven and Earth was shut down a while ago, so Xiao Zhu went to Dongguan. Dongguan is also experiencing a typhoon now, so she ended up here with me. For a girl from Heaven and Earth, two thousand is actually a very low price!”
Zhou Qin’s face turned bright red with anger, her willow-leaf eyebrows shooting up. Just as she was about to curse back, Li Yundong quickly stopped her. Impatiently, he said, “Fine, fine, two thousand it is. Take the money and leave quickly.”
With that, he counted out two thousand yuan, handed it to Meiniang, and issued an eviction notice: “Count it. You won’t be missing a single cent. Get out the way you came!”
Meiniang expertly counted the bills, slipped them into her pocket, and chuckled, “Why be so cold-hearted, Boss Li? I came with Xiao Zhu, so naturally, I’ll leave with her. Your Tianlong Mountain Temple is quite famous; I think I’ll take a tour of the place today, treat it as sightseeing.”
With that, she took the initiative and strolled off toward other parts of the temple grounds by herself. As she reached a corner, she turned back and waved at Li Yundong: “Don’t worry about me, Boss Li, I’ll just look around.”
Meiniang, like a stubborn piece of taffy, infuriated Li Yundong until smoke nearly came out of his seven orifices. Su Chan, Zhou Qin, and the others spat and cursed in the direction Meiniang had gone.
But just then, sounds of men's and women's laughter and flirtatious talk drifted out from the room. As cultivators, Li Yundong and the others could hear these faint sounds with extreme clarity. Cao Yi, standing nearby, let out an awkward, dry chuckle. “Master Wuhua is indeed an eminent monk; the actions of an eminent monk are truly extraordinary.”
Although Zhou Qin hadn't begun her true cultivation, the primal Yin and Yang energy within her was far from shallow. She also heard the sounds clearly. Her cheeks slightly flushed, she sneered, “What eminent monk? I think he’s a lustful monk, perhaps the most lustful monk in history!”
Although Li Yundong secretly agreed with Zhou Qin’s assessment, he currently needed Wuhua's help, subconsciously unwilling to view Wuhua as such a depraved villain. He spoke up to scold her, “Zhou Qin, stop talking nonsense. Perhaps he really is guiding this woman’s path.”
Zhou Qin was unconvinced and retorted, “Is that how you guide someone? Unless Master Wuhua cultivates the Joyful Buddha!”
Li Yundong’s face tightened, and he shouted at Zhou Qin, Su Chan, and the other onlookers from the Fox Zen Sect: “What are you all doing here, eavesdropping?”
With his sharp shout, the little foxes who had gathered to watch quickly scattered. Only Su Chan, Zhou Qin, and Cao Yi remained, following Li Yundong as they moved a little further away from the house.
Zhou Qin said to Li Yundong, “Master, I don’t mean to be rude, but I bet that Wuhua is definitely a lustful monk.”
Li Yundong glanced at her and replied irritably, “What are you betting on?”
Zhou Qin let out a soft laugh: “I bet he won’t come out for a long time.”
Li Yundong was momentarily stunned: “Why bet on that?”
Zhou Qin’s face flushed slightly as she said, “An unmarried man and woman alone in a room—what else could they be doing?”
Li Yundong finally realized and laughed, scolding her, “Nonsense! You can’t even make a bet out of something like that?”
As soon as he finished speaking, the room door suddenly creaked open, swinging outward, and Wuhua walked out, heading straight toward Li Yundong.
Li Yundong let out a soft laugh, turned to Zhou Qin, and whispered, “Didn't I tell you Master Wuhua isn't a lustful monk? See, he’s already out?”
Seeing Wuhua approaching him, he stepped forward a couple of paces, put his palms together, and asked, “Master, what are your instructions?”
Wuhua maintained an expression of perfect serenity. He brought his palms together, fixed his gaze on Li Yundong, sighed deeply, but remained silent.
Li Yundong asked, puzzled, “What is it? Is there something unsatisfactory?”
Wuhua shook his head but still said nothing.
Li Yundong couldn't help but turn to look at Zhou Qin, questioning her with his eyes to see if she knew what Wuhua was thinking. But Zhou Qin was also completely bewildered; she didn't know why Wuhua had come out midway. She shook her head blankly at Li Yundong, indicating she didn't know.
Seeing that Zhou Qin was clueless, Li Yundong turned his gaze to Su Chan and Cao Yi, finding them equally baffled, shaking their heads. He felt a wave of frustration, thinking: You bald donkey, always playing mysterious games. Why don't you just say what you want? Tell me directly what you need, I’ve already found you the lady!
Li Yundong suppressed his anger and bowed with joined palms to Master Wuhua: “Master, please speak frankly. If I can do it, I certainly will.”
Wuhua let out a long sigh and said, “True Man Li, finding Xiao Zhu for me, I am deeply grateful. I intended to reminisce with her, but I didn’t expect…”
Li Yundong saw him hesitate at the crucial moment and quickly pressed, “Didn’t expect what?”
Wuhua looked at Li Yundong with an expression of regretful sadness: “I didn’t expect… I didn't have a condom!” Wuhua then looked at Li Yundong with urgent sincerity: “True Man Li, do you have a condom?”
Damn it!!!
Li Yundong and the others were so stunned they were nearly fried inside and out, almost passing out right there.
Li Yundong stared blankly, stammering for a long time, unable to speak. Zhou Qin’s expression was bizarre, her mouth twitching as if she was trying desperately not to laugh. Cao Yi looked even stranger; she glanced at Li Yundong, then quickly turned away, covering her mouth tightly with her hand, her shoulders shaking as suppressed giggles erupted.
Su Chan didn't understand at first, but realization dawned quickly. Her face instantly turned crimson, and she burst out laughing.
At her outburst, both Li Yundong’s and Wuhua’s gazes fixed on her.
Su Chan quickly covered her mouth with both hands, her eyes wide, looking back and forth between Li Yundong and Wuhua.
Li Yundong’s eyes were full of reproach, but Wuhua looked at her with confusion and asked, “This female benefactor, what are you laughing at?”
Su Chan dared not speak, fearing that if she opened her mouth, she would laugh herself to death. The young girl shook her head wildly like a rattle drum.
Wuhua sighed: “The Buddha said: No self-form, no sentient being form. Female benefactor, do you know what that means? You are attached to form!”
Li Yundong was now certain Wuhua was a lustful monk. His resentment boiled over as he secretly raged: Damn it, you are clearly the number one lustful monk in history, and you still pretend to be an eminent monk? I see now, are you perhaps the eminent monk among lustful monks, and the lustful monk among eminent monks?
Li Yundong’s face fell, and he said, “Master Wuhua, all I know is ‘No Self Condom’ and ‘No Sentient Being Condom.’”
Wuhua looked surprised: “What does that mean?”
Li Yundong said darkly, “It means I don’t have any condoms, and no one else does either!”
As soon as he finished speaking, Su Chan, Zhou Qin, and Cao Yi could no longer contain themselves. They all burst into loud laughter, but as soon as the sound escaped, they realized their impropriety and quickly clamped their hands over their mouths, stifling their laughter until their stomachs ached.
Cao Yi struggled to suppress her laughter and said to Li Yundong, “Sect Leader, I, I still have some things to attend to, I…” Before she could finish, she turned and fled, her delicate shoulders shaking, punctuated by bursts of laughter.
Li Yundong watched Cao Yi’s retreating figure. He saw Su Chan and Zhou Qin hold out for a moment longer before finally succumbing, one squatting on the ground laughing, the other shaking like a willow branch.
Li Yundong glared, “What are you laughing at!”
At his shout, Su Chan and Zhou Qin gasped, stopping their laughter instantly. However, their bodies trembled, their eyebrows twitched, and their faces contorted into expressions so bizarre they were almost grotesque.
Seeing their state, Li Yundong couldn't help but laugh in exasperation. He waved his hand and shouted, “Get away from here to laugh!”
Su Chan and Zhou Qin acted as if granted amnesty, instantly vanishing from sight. A moment later, a burst of wild laughter echoed from the distance.
Li Yundong looked in the direction they had fled, feeling both exasperated and amused. He turned back to Wuhua, sighed helplessly, and said, “Master, I don’t know if you are deliberately messing with me or what, but seeing as I am truly sincere, please stop playing games with me and tell me the whereabouts of Ao Wushuang!”
Wuhua chuckled, put his palms together, and said, “How could I be deliberately messing with you? I merely act according to whatever comes to mind. Your Daoist tradition speaks of unobstructed cultivation; our Buddhist tradition also has the concept of acting freely according to one’s nature. It’s normal for you to think of me as a lustful monk. Since I began my cultivation, Wuhua has always acted willfully; not only did I change the name given by my master, but I also frequent all sorts of entertainment venues. I certainly don’t look like an ordained monk. Heh heh, others laugh at me for being too wild; I laugh because others cannot see clearly! You want to know where Ao Wushuang is, right? Very simple, I can tell you right now!”
Li Yundong was overjoyed and quickly asked, “Where is she?”
Wuhua said meaningfully, “Far away in the sky, close at hand!”
The moment his words fell, Li Yundong heard an extremely terrified and sharp scream suddenly ring out from a direction within the temple grounds.