Today, finally, Fox had a day off from school, so we could properly play. Who knew that when I asked him to come hunt people to eat, he said he had homework instead, that his teacher made him keep a diary. I was furious, because he claimed all good children keep diaries. I decided then and there: I would keep one too, because I am the best child.

I spent ages at the store picking out notebooks. There were too many kinds; my eyes were spinning. In the end, I just grabbed the only one that hadn't been burned and brought it back. Okay, time to write my diary.

Fox said a diary is for recording what happens every day. So today went like this: For breakfast, we had meat congee, but there was too little meat—not even half the amount of rice. I lodged a protest with Gui'er.

For lunch, we had deep-fried whole chicken, stir-fried monster meat with bamboo shoots, braised pork, a whole roasted pig, and a pile of nasty-tasting vegetables. The human I hunted last night wasn't served; Gui'er said we’d use that for the human-meat buns tonight.

For the human-meat buns tonight, Liu Di ate even more than me. Damn him! When I hit him, he dared to fight back! This resulted in me burning the television set, so we had to go to the mall to watch the final episode of the cartoon.

Midnight snack was a bit meager—just a pot of sweet and sour pork tenderloin and a tub of ice cream. Fox ate half of it, but I am magnanimous, truly, it doesn't bother me at all.

Diary entry for today is finished.

September 2nd. It was sunny for a bit, then cloudy, then sunny again, and now it’s cloudy again, and it even started raining. I showed the diary to Fox, and he actually laughed at me for only writing about food! I won't write about eating today.

I woke up too early this morning, so I fell asleep while sunbathing on Shadow’s head during Shadow Practice. Lunch was delayed by twenty minutes, and my stomach was shriveled, so I ate a little extra. I didn't nap in the afternoon. After being stuffed, I wanted to move around a bit, so Gui'er said life is movement and asked me to help her move things. I moved a mountain of stuff, and then I saw her ask that human for money—I think I’ve been tricked.

I’m not going out to work with Shadow tonight; I need to catch up on my sleep. Finish writing this diary quickly; I'm going to bed.

September 3rd. Heavy rain, bad mood, because Fox actually said my diary is nothing but eating and sleeping. I decided to go beat up a dog to vent my frustration. But Liu Di was with Shadow, so I went to the outskirts with them. While they were fighting, I ate three monsters—I still think roasting them myself is the best flavor, but I absolutely cannot let Gui'er know I said that. However, Shadow got injured, so my mood is still bad. It's all that dog’s fault. When I tried to attack him again, he slipped away. Bad mood! I’m furious! After finishing this diary, I’m going out on the street to beat up the first monster I see!!

Today's diary is done.

Addendum: The first person I met outside was Gui'er coming back from selling vegetables. The second was Nan Yu, visiting Zhou Ying. The third was Fox… Plan changed. I’m amending the diary entry.

September 4th. That annoying rain is still falling. I want to stop it, but Shadow won’t let me. Gui'er is ordering me around again to dry the clothes she washed, so I decided to run away from home. Luckily, Nan Yu is the best; she saved some monster meat for me to eat and even told me stories—her scent is especially wonderful on rainy days, so I spent the whole day at her place.

When I got back home, I found out Fox went to his grandma’s house today. He didn't come to see the diary I wrote, so I sneaked over and looked at his. Hahahaha, I laughed so hard! He clearly has the Ghost Emissary write his assignments, yet he writes in his diary that he diligently studies. He clearly asked Gui'er to wash his sheets, yet he writes that he helped Mom with chores. Turns out his "good child" diary is a complete lie! I’m going to his grandma’s house to laugh at him.

September 6th. Half sunny, half overcast. Fox got into an argument with me, saying snooping in someone else’s diary is an invasion of privacy and illegal. He demanded I apologize. I ignored him, but he kept arguing, so I reluctantly apologized. I feel so broad-minded and loyal, but I caught him with solid proof. If he doesn't agree to treat me to a hundred chickens, I’m going to tell everyone he lies in his diary!

Fox stole chickens for me to roast. It was supposed to be his gift to me, but he sat there staring longingly while I ate. I couldn't finish it myself, so I invited him to eat together—and he ended up eating two more chicken claws than me. Fox is such a greedy cat!!

September 7th. Sunny! Finally, it’s sunny! Sunbathing feels so good. I slept in the park all day.

September 8th. Sunny. Went out to the countryside with Fox today. He spent all his time chasing rabbits and refused to accompany me to see the Nine-Headed Serpent Liu Dog mentioned. I really want to see if a giant nine-headed long worm tastes good. But since I ate most of the wild rabbits, I forgave him.

When I got home, I saw Shadow reading my diary. This is an invasion of my privacy, and I must protest! I must fight back against this kind of patriarchal disrespect toward the children. For the sake of my own healthy growth, I absolutely cannot allow this to happen. After my efforts, Shadow agreed to buy me ten sets of cartoons, twenty storybooks, and thirty game discs as my emotional compensation.

I’m watching VCD tonight; I’m not going to work with Shadow.

September 10th. Sunny. The game was at a crucial moment when Gui'er suddenly asked why I hadn't written my diary today. This caused me to get PK’d and sent back to the respawn point. Diary finished; I'm going for revenge!

September 11th. Didn't go out. They were playing games without me.

Also, I deliberately placed the diary in a spot where Shadow often sits. He didn't look at it, and Gui'er didn't touch it either—I’m so angry! I was hoping they’d buy me expansion packs!

September 12th. Sunny. Playing games in the morning, eating lunch, playing games at night.

September 14th. Whatever. Playing games in the morning, eating lunch, playing games at night.

September 15th. Whatever. Playing games in the morning, eating lunch, playing games at night.

September 16th. Whatever. Playing games in the morning, eating lunch, playing games at night.

…………

(Out of Diary: Gui'er: "Huo'er, I haven't seen you write in your diary these past few days. I told you, you only have a three-minute passion!" "Who said that? My diary is already written up until next month!" "Don't eat so fast, or you’ll spray food everywhere when you talk! — You can’t pre-write a diary!" "It’s all the same anyway. What’s the difference between doing something and then recording it, versus planning it beforehand and then doing it! I’m full, off to do what my diary says!")