Unnaturally cold!!

Instinctively, I curled myself into a tight ball, trying to ward off the chill that seeped into my very marrow, but even with my head nearly tucked into my groin, I felt no warmth whatsoever. The moment that needle-sharp cold shot through my limbs and finally pierced my brain like a sharp pin, I woke up—I woke up instantly!

My mind was clear, and my thoughts immediately began fighting back against the cold. I opened my eyes to absolute blackness. My heart sank. Where was I? Ignoring the splitting headache, I shook my head, rubbed my temples, and desperately tried to recall things. Damn it, I was just sobering up from a massive binge. Liǔ Yǒng once wrote, Where does one awaken from tonight’s drunkenness? By the willow bank, under the waning moon and dawn wind. I twisted my neck carefully; this place was certainly not a willow bank, nor was there a waning moon. There was wind, but it wasn’t the gentle dawn wind; it was a sinister cold draft coming from God knows where. — We are all human, all drunk, yet the scene upon waking is so vastly different?

My legs and feet were almost frozen stiff; the slightest movement caused my joints to crackle audibly. I managed to shift my body slightly and cautiously moved my hands in the darkness. However, whatever my hands touched felt profoundly strange, and the nose, now slightly regaining function, picked up a sinister, damp, and fishy odor. I was completely baffled. Where was I lying? What time was it? I wondered to myself. Logically, after I got drunk, Jì Yé, Tán Píng’er, and Mǎn Niǎoniǎo, along with the È Lán Guǒ family, should have been hospitable enough not to leave my delicate body sprawled out after I passed out drunk, right? — Something must have happened!

Realizing this, I panicked instantly and opened my mouth to shout for Tán Píng’er, only to spit out several mouthfuls of cold water. A warm liquid also trickled from my ear, and a faint, whimpering cry approached me like a distant mosquito. I coughed lightly and listened intently to the weeping, joyfully realizing it was Tán Píng’er’s voice.

My whole body jolted. I pushed up with my hands and finally managed to sit up, simultaneously brushing the edges of two wooden planks with my hands—I was horrified. Could I be lying in a wooden box as cold as an ice cellar? I cursed inwardly. Even if they put me in a box to sleep, shouldn't they have given me a blanket? Everyone knows some people feel the cold when drunk, and unfortunately, I was one of those 'some people.' Furthermore, this place stank enough to kill bluebottle flies!

But I soon realized I wasn't in a simple wooden box, because the two vertical planks my hands touched, along with the one beneath my rear, seemed to have been soaked in cold water for a long time; a light tap sent a splash of cold, watery residue—neither quite fishy nor quite foul—onto my hand. I changed my line of thought: Was I sitting inside a boat? If so, this boat was strangely designed! It looked remarkably like a coffin!

A coffin? A jolt ran through me, and suddenly my body felt hot and agitated. Damn it all, was I dead? Or was I about to be buried alive inside a coffin before I even reached the King of Hell? I felt my mìmì jump once, then again, and then the rhythm grew faster and faster, something like a drumbeat accelerating from sparse to dense… While my mìmì was beating merrily, my hands were not idle. I reached up into the darkness but touched nothing resembling a coffin lid. Just then, I heard the sound of water, and simultaneously felt the object beneath me slowly begin to move forward.

“Píng… Píng’er…” I managed to call out with difficulty. Tán Píng’er’s crying stopped abruptly, and the sound of the water also ceased. The object beneath me swayed gently a few times, and a voice thick with palpable fear echoed in the darkness, “Yīng Yīng… have you returned from the dead?”

Returned from the dead? Why did that term sound so familiar? After a second of stunned silence, a mischievous fire shot up in my chest. I hadn't gone to report to Yan Wang Lao’er yet; what the hell was I returning from? Judging by the voice, it was definitely Tán Píng’er!

“I… I’m not dead…” I quickly stretched my neck and shouted again.

“Really?” This time, the voice held infinite relief.

“R-really… Lying to you is being a puppy!”

“Yo-ho!” Heaven knows how Tán Píng’er managed to make that sound, the very whistle Mǎn Niǎoniǎo and I often used to tease my sister-in-law! “Wait for me! I’ll find a place to talk!” Tán Píng’er didn’t specify where, but the object beneath me shook violently and then shot forward rapidly.

I was just about to ask if we were in water when a wet, slick tongue silently slid across my face out of the darkness. I felt a surge of emotion—first touched, then surprised. This was Tán Píng’er’s first kiss! But then I realized something was wrong—how could Tán Píng’er’s tongue be so thick and large? As I was trying to figure this out, a drenched, furry body tumbled into my arms… Damn it, it was Huā’er!

At that moment, the boat beneath us stopped moving. A cold hand quickly reached for my face, and a breathy voice, laced with cold air, reached my eardrums: “Yīng Yīng, you really aren't dead?”

I knew that hand belonged to Tán Píng’er. “I’m real, touch me if you don’t believe it!”

Tán Píng’er did indeed reach out to grope my body. Just as I was feeling momentarily flustered, a small cluster of faint blue flame suddenly lit up before my eyes—it turned out Tán Píng’er was fumbling for my waterproof, windproof lighter.

The sudden light made me squint for a moment before I slowly opened my eyes, catching sight of a beautiful face, full of smiles yet utterly devoid of color, mere centimeters from mine—who else could it be but Tán Píng’er?

By the weak firelight, I saw that I was indeed sitting inside an open-topped coffin. The coffin was already full of water, and turbid moisture seeped from the side panels, drawing thin threads into the main vessel. The coffin wood was deathly pale, and the edges still bore faint smudges of grease—clearly, this was not a new coffin prepared for me.

“How am I in a coffin?” I asked Tán Píng’er anxiously.

“Pull me up. Let me sit in the coffin, and then I’ll tell you,” Tán Píng’er replied, shivering, her teeth chattering as she exhaled cold air.

I quickly reached out and pulled Tán Píng’er up. She used the water to push off, arched her back, and, with great effort, managed to sit inside the coffin.

The moment Tán Píng’er settled in, all pretense of propriety vanished, and she threw herself into my arms. “I’m freezing! Hold me tight!”

I disregarded propriety too and held Tán Píng’er close. Our combined body heat did manage to ward off the cold to some extent; it took Tán Píng’er’s body a good while before her tremors stopped—of course, there were other reasons for that which are inconvenient to mention here.

Once our breathing steadied, we let the lidless coffin drift on the water’s surface. Tán Píng’er proceeded to tell me the entire story of how I ended up in a coffin.

It turned out that yesterday—we had no idea of the actual time, only that a long period had passed since I got drunk, according to Tán Píng’er—although I couldn't remember what happened afterward, my state at the time could only be described as manic. Though my walk was uneven, I kept yelling that I wanted to see the 'Ladder of Light' and the 'Hand-Climbing Rock' in Yúmù Village. Mǎn Niǎoniǎo echoed my excitement wildly. Tán Píng’er and Jì Yé had no choice but to accompany È Lán Guǒ, her father, and her grandfather to see the 'Sānyáng Pass,' which was more treacherous than a sheer cliff—the Ladder of Light and Hand-Climbing Rock were near Sānyáng Pass. Once we reached the destination, I became even more audacious. According to Tán Píng’er, I stripped off my upper body, brandished a hoe handle, and loudly recited a crude limerick: “What a Hand-Climbing Rock, harder than the Shu Roads of old! To pass this way, leave your toll money behind!” I looked exactly like a modern-day bandit lurking on the roadside.

After seeing the Ladder of Light and Hand-Climbing Rock, I happened to overhear È Lán Guǒ’s father mention that Yúmù Village also had a Yúmù Cave, a place where the ancestors of the villagers once lived. I immediately started clamoring to see that cave. However, misfortune struck quickly. Just as Tán Píng’er was steadying me while approaching what was called Yúmù Cave but was actually a chasm more perilous than a sinkhole, Mǎn Niǎoniǎo, equally unsteady from the drink, accidentally shoved forward and knocked both me and Tán Píng’er down into the opening.

“And then?” I asked anxiously when Tán Píng’er paused at this point in her narrative.

“That Yúmù Cave was a downward-sloping pit. Not far from the entrance, there was a relatively large flat area, but you were holding me, and we rolled down from above. We quickly tumbled to the edge of that flat area. I was so dizzy from rolling that I couldn't stop, and holding you, we dropped vertically from there.”

“Then how did I end up in a coffin?”

“You should be asking that! It was all thanks to these coffins; otherwise, we both would be dead by now!”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t see the specifics clearly, but there seemed to be many hanging coffins on that sheer cliff wall—the kind you used to talk about. Many coffins were placed on stones protruding from the rock face. As we fell, we were lucky enough to smash through one coffin and land inside it. That coffin immediately fell downward, knocking over many others. We kept crashing and stopping, and I don't know for how long, until we fell into the icy water. Thankfully, the water below was deep; otherwise, I wouldn’t be telling you this now. I don't know if you were still drunk or knocked unconscious, but you didn't struggle at all the entire time. I dared not let go, and after struggling to break the surface while still holding you, I felt around in the dark for some rotting wooden planks. After helping you onto a piece of coffin board, I managed to find your lighter and light it. In the dim light, I could vaguely see many shattered coffins floating on the water…” Tán Píng’er took two sharp, lingering breaths as she spoke of this.

“And then?”

“Then… then you were just lying straight on the coffin board, unmoving, and your breathing stopped. You went cold. I shouted until my throat was raw, but nothing happened. After shaking you for a long time and getting no reaction, I even performed… performed CPR… chest compressions… Finally, I guessed that you might… might be gone!”

“Keep going.”

“At that point, besides crying, I didn’t know what else to do. I happened to see an open coffin nearby. I jumped into the water, reached in, pulled out the remaining skeletal remains, and threw them out. It took all my strength to get you inside. I thought, even if you were truly… truly gone… I couldn't leave you here alone. Later, I realized the water was slowly flowing forward, and without much thought, I instinctively started paddling forward with the coffin. Not long after I began to move, I suddenly heard a splashing sound behind me. I thought, bring on whatever poisonous insects or beasts you have; in any case… in any case, I didn't want to live anymore. Who knew it would turn out to be Huā’er!” Tán Píng’er said this part very calmly, but how could I imagine the scene she was recounting?

I used my strength to press Tán Píng’er’s head against my chest, holding her tightly, unwilling to let go!

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