The group of horndogs, rushing to check out the campus beauty's photo spread, accidentally collided with someone right at the entrance of the cafeteria.

The person Yang Yi bumped into was none other than himself. The collision caused him to catch a drift of delicate perfume, a stimulating scent that made his heart leap. He reveled in the sensation, completely unconcerned with whom he had just collided with—or rather, whom he had just tackled. The feel of the hands beneath him was familiar; it felt like a blissful encounter he’d had before. So, even with his eyes closed, he knew he had pinned a woman to the ground.

While Yang Yi was lost in enjoyment, the other girls nearby, along with Xu Ming and Fatty Lin, were instantly sweating buckets, their expressions shifting drastically. The girl pinned underneath Yang Yi’s weight flushed crimson, her mind boiling with rage, her eyes seemingly ready to spit sparks. She pursed her lips, then suddenly shrieked: "Assault!"

The cry was so piercingly loud that everyone inside and outside the cafeteria turned to look toward its source. Yang Yi, who had been hoping to take advantage of the situation, felt an inexplicable jolt. Clear beads of sweat traced paths down his forehead. He dared not open his eyes, for he now knew exactly who he had tackled. The familiar feel, the soft texture, the recognizable voice—internally, he cursed the Buddha: "Screw your Buddha, how unlucky can I be today?"

Though this was his thought, the unfolding situation gave him no more time to dwell. Yang Yi managed to slightly crack open one eye and saw a group of boys whose eyes glowed with a sickly green light—no, it was the light of pure fury, the blood-red glare of those whose goddess had been desecrated, a light that looked capable of swallowing Yang Yi whole.

"Brother Yi... enjoy yourself, I'm heading out," Fatty Lin muttered when he saw the situation was clearly deteriorating, and immediately took off running.

Xu Ming, standing nearby, clearly felt the same way. He quickly threw out a parting shot: "Yang Yi, you better not get into trouble. Fatty and I will wait for your safe return." With that, he bolted away in a flash.

That group of boys stared daggers at Yang Yi. His current posture was incredibly suggestive, bordering on what looked like a forcible act. The entire event had happened in a split second, leaving Yang Yi no time to curse Fatty Lin and Xu Ming for their lack of loyalty. He immediately sprang to his feet, offering a weak smile: "Sorry, sorry!"

Li Qian, already furious, had reached her limit. After he crashed into her, he maintained that compromising position, and his private areas felt violated yet again. Her heart was a mixture of panic and anger. Her face crimson, she roared, "Pervert!"

"Slap!" A sharp, echoing sound. Yes, it seemed the story was repeating itself.

Li Qian angrily swung a hand, but this time, the blow didn't connect; Yang Yi managed to catch it. He knew this was a misunderstanding, an accident, but he was undeniably at fault for touching what he shouldn't have. All he could do was apologize again: "I am extremely sorry, this was purely an accident. I apologize to you. I am truly sorry!"

"Hmph... you... sob..." Li Qian seemed utterly wronged, her voice breaking as she verged on tears.

Yang Yi’s eyes widened slightly. Internally, he cursed his luck. He truly had never seen a woman cry before, and now he felt utterly awkward and out of his depth. But then, he felt terror creeping in. The boys who had been glowering with their blood-red light and approaching them were now sprinting. Knowing that provoking a mob was disastrous, he quickly turned to Li Qian: "I apologize, I know this was my fault. I will properly apologize to you another day, but I have an urgent matter to attend to right now, I must leave."

As soon as the words left his mouth, his famed running skills kicked in. He vanished in a puff of smoke. Li Qian wiped her eyes, a flicker of astonishment crossing her face as she stared at the spot where Yang Yi had disappeared. Then, the students who had been driven to frenzy found their focus. One of them yelled, "Don't let that brat who desecrated our goddess get away!"

"Right! We need to teach him a lesson!" The rest of the boys caught on immediately, shouting in agreement. The group, numbering about a dozen students, all charged in the direction Yang Yi had fled.

"Qianqian, are you alright? Who was that pervert just now? Does he not look where he's walking? Does he keep his eyes in his pants?" Another girl, seemingly only just processing the event, rushed to Li Qian's side, speaking with righteous indignation.

But this girl was... well, too much. To mention pants pockets! I sweat—!

Li Qian tidied her clothes, lost in thought. She forced a weak smile and said, "I'm fine. I won't eat anymore; I need to go back and rest."

"Oh, then I'll go with you," said the girl named Xiao Ying, noticing Li Qian's pale complexion.

"Mm," Li Qian agreed, glancing back one last time before walking away.

"Hey—Xu Ming, do you think Brother Yi is going to be okay?" Fatty Lin, now inside the student dorms, asked Xu Ming with a nervous tremor in his voice.

"Damn it, how should I know? Why don't you go ask Li Qian? Can anyone survive getting tangled up with that she-devil? I doubt Yang Yi will be coming back in one piece," Xu Ming replied, sounding somewhat sheepish. "Truthfully, I'm not worried about Yang Yi getting hurt; she's just a girl. I'm worried about us getting hurt, damn it!"

"Why?" Fatty Lin asked, confused about his friend's reasoning.

"Do you think Yang Yi will kill us when he sees us, considering we ran out on him in his moment of crisis?" Xu Ming asked cautiously.

Hearing this, Fatty Lin’s heart sank. His expression changed, and he said, "Damn it, won't we be ripped apart limb from limb? Let's go find him now!"

"Damn it, you two disloyal cowards! You actually think I'd be that ruthless? Huh? Am I really that fearsome?"

Just as Fatty Lin and Xu Ming were about to head out to search for Yang Yi, a familiar, yet slightly terrifying, voice echoed.

"Haha, Brother Yi, are you alright?" Fatty Lin greeted the newcomer with an exaggeratedly cheerful face.

"Holy crap!" Xu Ming let out a sudden, sharp yell.

This startled both Yang Yi, who was about to say something, and Fatty Lin, who was plotting how to smooth over their earlier disloyalty. They both asked in unison, bewildered, "What's wrong?"

"Yang Yi, you are truly amazing! To come out of that situation unscathed—my god! My beauty! You are my boss! I swear allegiance to you! You're too awesome, too incredible! Waaahhh," Xu Ming cried, half-sobbing and half-sniffling, dropping to his knees before Yang Yi. His snot and tears were practically smeared onto Yang Yi. This guy was putting on an Oscar-worthy performance; if he didn't go into movies, the film industry would lose a true Best Actor.

Yang Yi pushed Xu Ming away, his face awkward. "Fatty, hurry up, hurry up and push him off me! Damn it, this guy is like a slug, seriously!"

"Uh, Brother Yi, you should probably do it yourself!" Fatty Lin, despite feeling goosebumps all over watching Xu Ming's display, couldn't help but admire him. This way, he had a perfect excuse to deflect any blame for their earlier cowardice. It was truly high-level maneuvering—as high as a skyscraper, I sweat—!

....[Brothers, cheer on! Don't forget to collect! Thank you all so much for your support. This is the Ultimate Pervert. Cackle... During this featured promotion, I'll try to update as much as possible...]