Jun Mo Xie had not yet risen, deep in the study of his vivid dream, when he shamefully realized his underwear was quite beyond salvaging, soaked in a significant puddle.
A tentative touch confirmed it had stiffened somewhat… (To all the brothers reading this, you chuckle knowingly… we are all perfectly pure…) How disgraceful!
Nocturnal emissions—such a thing happening to the great killer Jun!
Who would ever believe such a mortifying incident happened to me?
My reputation is utterly ruined!
The young master Jun frantically yanked the quilt over his body, which had just “lost its innocence.” He peered out cautiously, then scrambled to pull his legs up… Underwear!
He absolutely had to change it, or the discomfort would be unbearable.
With a swish, the garment was expertly slipped off.
He balled it up in his hand, reaching out from under the covers, trying to find a suitable spot to toss it… But… Suddenly!
Bang!
At that critical moment, the door burst open.
Old Master Jun strode in, his white beard flying, his face etched with worry, radiating frantic urgency, and shouted the moment he entered, “Why are you still lying there like a dead pig?
Do you intend to sleep until the sky falls!?” It’s just like they say—no coincidence, no story.
To be caught at such an inconvenient time!
And by a man, an old man at that!
Young Master Jun felt an instant urge for self-immolation.
He retracted the hand holding the soggy bundle lightning-fast back under the quilt, murmuring a jumble of fuzzy agreements: “I’m getting up, I’m getting up!
Could you perhaps step outside first, Elder…?” “What’s that in your hand?” Old Master Jun’s suspicion was immediately aroused.
Far from leaving, he took two steps closer, his brows furrowed, his eyes glaring, and thundered, “Hand it over for this old man to see!” “Nothing, nothing, truly nothing…” Jun Mo Xie felt a level of embarrassment he hadn't experienced in two lifetimes.
He squirmed deeper into the covers, complaining, “Grandfather, you are being far too inconsiderate.
I was still sleeping, and you just crash in like that.
Luckily, I haven't found a wife yet; if I had a granddaughter-in-law, would you burst in on her just as carelessly?” What kind of talk was that?
Old Master Jun immediately became furious, his mustache bristling, his forehead dark with veins, his eyes seeing stars: “You scion!
Watch your mouth!
I… you brat, hand it over now!
Must I resort to force?” Without another thought, he reached out and grabbed the quilt.
The martial power of a Tian Xuan expert was not something a fledgling like Jun Mo Xie could resist.
With a whoosh, the covering was ripped away.
Before Old Master Jun stood an object like a peeled egg, with a dark mass in the center.
The spear within was still faintly trembling, impossibly thick and stiffly shaking its head… Jun Mo Xie had zero psychological preparation, cried out, and slapped both hands over his private part with lightning speed, flushed with shame almost to the point of death.
Suddenly hardening his resolve, figuring he’d lost all dignity anyway, he completely let go, as if enlightened.
He stood up right there, stark naked, his weapon erect, and swayed his hips gracefully before taking two deliberate cat-steps toward the Old Master, who had instantly turned into a statue: “Grandfather, didn’t you just want a look… Now you’ve seen?” The Old Master snapped back to reality, his aged face flushing scarlet.
He swung his arm wide and slapped Jun Mo Xie’s bare bottom with a resounding crack that was exquisitely clear: “I’ll see you, you little bastard…” Then, with a sudden grab, he snatched the bundled object from Jun Mo Xie’s hand.
He absolutely had to see what the brat was hiding!
It felt somewhat damp.
For a moment, the Old Master didn't think of that aspect and paused.
He lifted the wad of cloth and sniffed it near his nose, instantly detecting a strange, long-forgotten scent… In that instant, the Old Master completely understood!
His face turned crimson.
He flung the object away and lunged forward fiercely: “…This old man will beat the shamelessness out of you!…” A series of wretched screams immediately echoed, piercing and miserable… Third Master Jun heard the commotion from afar and rushed over.
He happened to meet his father emerging from Jun Mo Xie’s room, his face red, still puffing out his beard… yet there was a faint hint of a smile in his eyes.
“Father, did Mo Xie anger you again?” Third Master asked cautiously.
“Don't mention that little beast!” Old Master Jun shook the right hand that had held the object, opening his mouth wordlessly.
He wanted to say something but ultimately couldn't.
He shook his head for a long time before finally managing: “Sigh, the child has grown up… It’s time he found a wife…” He walked away, hands clasped behind his back.
Once outside the door, he remembered the original purpose of his visit.
He roared back toward the house: “Right, Old Third, tell that little devil to prepare himself quickly—His Majesty wants to see him!” Then, he vanished in a swoosh… The day’s events left the Old Master, the supreme commander of the nation’s armies, feeling exceptionally mortified.
He, a hero of a lifetime, had just witnessed his grandson’s formidable weapon and even handled that thing.
What a disgrace… The problem was, amidst his frustration, he couldn't help but stifle a laugh… There was even a sense of profound paternal satisfaction… He’s grown up, capable of that already.
And the foundation… it was certainly not lacking!
Almost as good as his old man back in the day, perhaps just a hair short, but definitely sufficient.
Especially since he was only sixteen, with vast room for development… Hurry up and propagate the Jun family line… The Old Master clutched his chest with both hands, mimicking the gesture of holding a baby, as if reliving a memory.
His aged face broke into a delighted smile… A while later, Third Master Jun saw his astonishing nephew for the first time acting so demurely.
He emerged looking down shyly, fidgeting with the edges of his clothes, appearing deeply troubled… “What on earth happened?
What mischief are you up to now?
I couldn't decipher whether your grandfather was angry or happy—what was that expression?
He was scolding you yet grinning all the while!
Give me an explanation, quickly!” Third Master was utterly confused.
Young Master Jun looked up with utmost helplessness, his face a picture of embarrassment.
He bowed reverently: “Third Uncle, please… don’t ask…” This was truly not something that could be explained in person!
Although Young Master Jun’s skin was thicker than the bends of the Great Wall combined, even a super-thick hide had its vulnerable spots.
This particular incident was too humiliating, genuinely, extremely, exceptionally, and monumentally shameful… Finally, at dinner, Jun Wu Yi learned the details from his father.
Naturally, Eagle Bo Kong, who was also eating with them, overheard.
Jun Wu Yi instantly transformed the mouthful of rice he was chewing into two white streams that shot out of his nostrils, nearly spraying Eagle Bo Kong sitting opposite him… As for the nearly sprayed Eagle Supreme, he showed no anger at all.
He merely stared with a bizarre expression for a moment, then burst out laughing so hard he nearly choked.
It had been a long time since he’d been this happy—even happier than yesterday’s narrow draw against Lei Wu Bei.
This was too rich… After breakfast, Old Master Jun and his grandson ignored the Blood-Robed General, who was now laughing so hard he was convulsing in his wheelchair, and the exhausted Eagle Supreme, one of the Eight Great Sovereigns.
Acting as if nothing had happened, they mounted their horses and headed straight for the Imperial Palace.
They left behind Jun Wu Yi and Eagle Fu Kong, the duo laughing themselves nearly to the point of madness and possibly qi deviation… The reason His Majesty suddenly summoned Jun Mo Xie was because he had inexplicably gone mad and decided to hold the already postponed Golden Autumn Scholar Banquet that very day, with the venue set right in the Imperial Palace.
This was highly abnormal.
Since the news broke late last night, Sun Cheng He, the Minister of Rites in charge, had nearly worn out his legs running around.
Naturally, the old scholars of Wenxing Academy were even busier.
The grand event that countless students had eagerly awaited was suddenly canceled; after a long period of disappointment, they were now hit with news this abrupt… A decision made at night, to be held the very next day?
How many people wouldn't be able to make it in time… Several white-haired old scholars were silently cursing in their hearts: What in the world is this urgency?
Even if you’re desperate for a feeding, you still need to unbutton your shirt… But there was no choice.
Heaven and Earth hold the Emperor above all!
If His Majesty decreed it for today, then today it must be!
If they angered His Majesty, leading him to cancel the event entirely, wouldn't they, these old men, have destroyed the golden path for their students?
This time, it was not just the tight schedule and the bizarre location; the scale was also unprecedentedly grand.
Not only were the young masters of the great aristocratic families invited, but the three Imperial Princes and several Princesses would also be in attendance.
Furthermore, talented women from every major clan were welcomed without refusal—just show up!
Thus, notorious scoundrels like Jun Mo Xie and Fatso Tang actually received invitations… Along the way, the Old Master remained stern-faced and silent.
Jun Mo Xie, the more he pondered it, felt something was amiss.
The grandfather and grandson simultaneously sensed that this so-called Golden Autumn Scholar Banquet might be anything but a good feast!
It was too contrary!
Too abnormal!
It was simply preposterous!
Especially Jun Mo Xie, who vaguely felt as if some invisible net was closing in on him… Jun Mo Xie racked his brains, unable to understand: Why this strange sensation?
***It shouldn't be targeting me!
I might be learned in eight divisions and possess knowledge spanning antiquity in poetry, essays, music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, but these people don't know it!
In their current eyes, how important am I… “Mo Xie, regarding today’s matter… this old man feels something is very wrong,” Old Master Jun Zhan Tian said solemnly.
“You… must strive to conceal your talents!” Jun Mo Xie smiled openly to ease his grandfather’s mind: “Grandfather, do you still not trust me?
Feigning foolishness, I am an absolute master!
I am the number one wastrel of Tianxiang; why hide my clumsy nature?
I am clumsy!” “You little rascal!” Old Master Jun laughed, his tension easing invisibly.
A mountain of flesh stood erect before the Imperial Palace gates!
Jun Mo Xie took one look and exclaimed, Ah, a familiar face—it was Fatso Tang… A pair of sworn brothers, neither missing the fun… Old Master Jun entered for the morning court session.
As for the Great Wastrel Jun and Fatso Tang, one squatted on the ground, the other leaned against the wall, unable to squat properly.
Both looked utterly disgraceful and unkempt, chatting amongst themselves.
The surrounding young masters and scholars, all impeccably dressed, spirited, and suave, looked completely out of place next to these two.
Seeing their lazy posture, they gave the pair a wide berth.
Those who didn't know them began inquiring.
“Who are these two?
Why do they have no regard for propriety!” one person asked.
“You don't know them?
You actually don't recognize these two?” another voice sounded astonished, the degree of surprise akin to an American not knowing Washington, a Frenchman not knowing Napoleon, or a German not knowing Hitler.