Beyond his innate instinct to cling to life, the Goblin Goldmine was similarly outfitted to the teeth in terms of gear. After his last successful venture selling illicit fake medicine in space netted him a hefty profit, he had embarked on a major purchasing spree. Fang Senyan had caught a glimpse of this scoundrel carrying a vial of the same pale gold potion that the Metal Tutor had once consumed!!! No one knew how he managed to acquire it while breaking out of confinement—where was the justice in that!
Mogansha had come to know this cunning and sleazy goblin well, recognizing the creature’s incredible resourcefulness. He unceremoniously handed over a large slab of greasy roasted meat. The creature instantly—and with incredible speed—produced a large platter from who knows where, tied a pristine white napkin around its neck, and made sure its stainless steel cutlery was all present. With eyes shining brightly like the
/pity
emoticon in QQ, he gripped his plate and began to devour the food noisily, emitting muffled, satisfied sounds between bites:
“Blessed be the Gold Coins, things that are free taste so much better…”
Fang Senyan rolled his eyes:
“Careful you don't start twitching and throwing up by tomorrow.”
Goldmine scoffed:
“‘Free’ is the most wonderful word, without exception… Ah, sir, your roast meat is absolutely exquisite. Tsk tsk, good heavens, I’d bet you don’t realize that the oil dripping off during the grilling process is pure gold. Letting it drip into the fire to burn is a colossal waste—surely you wouldn't mind if I caught a little oil on my plate?”
Mogansha smiled, his teeth appearing exceptionally white against his dark skin:
“It is my honor.”
Driven by the magic of the word ‘free,’ Mr. Goblin Goldmine’s appetite became shockingly voracious. Mogansha proceeded to drag over a half-dead Hydralisk, slice it open, and roast it. The two scoundrels hotly debated which part of the Zerg offered the best meat while they carved and roasted. Once Mogansha had treated Goldmine to a feast fit for a king, the seemingly simple creature finally dropped its guise:
“Um, dear Mr. Goldmine, I heard you are rather adept at concocting certain medicines.”
Goldmine, who had been drunkenly burping and lounging contentedly on the sand dune, immediately clutched his waist upon hearing Mogansha’s words, defensively asking:
“What are you planning?”
Mogansha offered a thoroughly earnest-looking smile:
“I merely wish to purchase some poison suitable for my use. You see, given our friendship, could you offer a twenty percent discount?”
Hearing the prospect of business, Goldmine instantly perked up and cackled slyly:
“Oh yes, yes… Say, what are you using it on? Firearms, right?”
With a dramatic flourish, the goblin produced a small, battered testing bench from behind his back, complete with test tubes, alcohol lamps, crucibles, and all the necessary apparatus, and began fussing about clumsily over a bubbling concoction, seemingly ready for a live demonstration. Fang Senyan, who had never witnessed the creature performing such tasks, watched curiously from the side. Suddenly, as Goldmine shook a slender-necked, bulbous flask, it popped with a bang, splashing its contents all over him and even emitting white smoke!
Fang Senyan’s heart leaped; this old Goblin Goldmine was no small fry, and if he were poisoned to death here, the loss would be immense. Seeing Goldmine turn deathly pale—or rather, sickly green—and swaying precariously, Fang Senyan rushed forward to support him. He then saw poor Mr. Goldmine, eyes welling with tears, the green wrinkles on his face bunched up in agony, lamenting mournfully:
“Another bottle exploded! Heavens! Now I have to spend money to buy another one.”
As Fang Senyan was about to urgently inquire about his injuries, hearing this profoundly sorrowful confession, he choked, almost unable to draw a breath, his vision went dark, and he slumped straight down onto the ground. Goldmine, meanwhile, wiped a tear away and asked with curiosity:
“Master, are you spending too much time chasing women? Why the sudden weakness in your legs?”
“Damn you…”
Next, Mr. Goblin Goldmine performed his live mixing demonstration again, and this time it succeeded. He produced a small vial of thick white liquid and nodded with satisfaction. However, his immediate instinct was to pull out a large plastic bucket filled with clean water and prepare to pour the small vial of white liquid into it. Fang Senyan observed this and inwardly sighed, realizing why the chance of poisoning successfully was only 5%—this bastard was clearly diluting Black Warlock Venom with water, instead of diluting water with Black Warlock Venom.
But just as Mr. Goldmine was about to engage in his forgery, he heard a deliberately loud cough from nearby. He turned to see Mogansha squatting next to him, his gaze fixed intently on him. Even with Goldmine’s famously thick skin, he could only manage a strained, dry laugh:
“Ahem, ahem, it’s just a habit, I forgot we were this familiar… Say, are you satisfied with my product?”
The properties of the powder immediately appeared before Mogansha:
Black Warlock Venom (Modified): This is a poison specially improved by Mr. Goblin Goldmine. When smeared onto ranged weaponry, every time damage is dealt to the enemy, there is a 15% chance to inflict a lingering toxic damage that strikes every three seconds for a total duration of 15 seconds, dealing 10~20 points of damage (adjusted based on enemy resistance).
Notice: Application success rate is 99%; duration after application is 30 minutes. Warning: Each tick of Black Warlock Venom damage has a chance to critically hit!
Mogansha immediately asked bluntly:
“How much?”
Goldmine declared heartily:
“Two thousand Universal Credits will suffice.”
Fang Senyan was stunned; this creature absolutely did not strike him as the type. Yet, Mogansha, without hesitation, immediately initiated the transaction upon hearing the price… Ten minutes later, Mogansha’s agonizing screams, holding his head, echoed across the desert!
“Sailor! Sailor!!! Why did your damned servant charge tax during the transaction? Good heavens, look at this—Personal Income Tax, Stamp Duty, and even a fee for Loss of Youth! Did your servant lose his youth just by mixing a bottle of poison?”
Fang Senyan stifled a laugh:
“Alright, alright, you’ll get used to it.”
Mogansha wailed mournfully:
“Your servant isn't a goblin! He’s a demon wearing a goblin’s skin… Oh my savings!”
Fang Senyan spread his hands helplessly:
“Don’t look at me, I didn’t get a single benefit. You must know how temperamental the summons of Phil and Nu are within the Symbiosis Guild. My servant is no easy rider; in fact, he’s worse, an absolute multiplication of excess. My only goal is to avoid being extorted and exploited by him; don’t even think about getting him to return any money he pockets.”
Mogansha knew Fang Senyan was telling the truth, and tearfully retreated to a corner to draw circles in the sand. After conferring, the two decided to rest here for a while before proceeding. Fang Senyan had initially offered to stand watch while Mogansha rested, but shortly after, he saw Mogansha stumble out, his face greenish-blue, clutching his stomach and rushing toward the back of the dune. Then followed a series of earth-shattering rumbles, after which he would slowly return, grimacing and rubbing his belly. Unfortunately, this scene repeated itself every ten minutes… So, Fang Senyan was reluctantly left to rest first.
When Fang Senyan finally awoke after two or three hours of sleep, he was surprised to find Mogansha leaning weakly against a rock, panting, emitting a foul, acidic stench from his entire body. Amusingly, when he checked Mogansha’s status via the Nightmare Mark, he found several new descriptions had appeared:
Health Status: Deteriorating. Acquired Disease: Diarrhea. Cause: Massive proliferation of unknown pathogens due to the consumption of undercooked heteromorphic beast meat. Disease Effect: All attributes reduced by 15%, maximum HP reduced by 20%, accuracy reduced by 50% until cured. Disease Progression: Deteriorating Stage
Fang Senyan felt both exasperated and amused. Ever since his body became digitized as a Contractor, he hadn't suffered a single illness; even the mild rhinitis he contracted while working as a sailor had cleared up. To think that such bad luck as contracting a disease could actually happen. He crept over to check on Goldmine, who was hidden not far away. Sure enough, the goblin who had gorged himself on free food was now visibly sicker, his face pale green, gasping for breath, and already emitting a noticeable stench before he was even close.
Helplessly, Fang Senyan quickly consulted the full holographic map. He discovered a human base about two hundred kilometers away named "Fatal Helmet." Since taking down the Scorching Proboscis, his reputation with all human factions had increased by 1000 points, meaning he wouldn't be shot on sight or blown up by artillery upon arrival. He gathered the two unfortunate souls and started up the old hovercraft, pointing it in that direction.
After driving nearly a hundred kilometers, Fang Senyan heard intermittent gunfire in the distance, along with the unique roar of Siege Tanks being deployed on their supports. He followed the sound and saw dense plumes of black smoke rising in the distance. A human convoy was holding a defensive line against a tidal wave of Zerg attacks, backed against a rocky outcrop.
All the Zerg attackers were low-level Zerglings, clearly having caught up to the convoy due to their high mobility. However, they were interspersed with several Brood Mothers, at least two to three times larger than the standard Zerg. These leaders had sharp, elongated claws on all four limbs, crimson eyes, and occasionally dripped viscous saliva from their jaws, with teeth and claws noticeably sharper, looking easily capable of tearing through Zerg armor.
This human convoy also appeared quite elite. They had nearly a hundred burly machine gunners clad in combat armor, forming three temporary strongholds. Five or six Vulture Hover Tanks patrolled the perimeter for escort, and three heavy Siege Tanks held the rear. Furthermore, even the civilian transport vehicles were armored, resembling personnel carriers, and were pushed to the front to serve as impromptu barricades.
Mogansha watched from the back seat, panting:
“The humans seem to be in a bad way.”
The interactive questions I posed last time were too easy, or solvable with a quick search on Baidu. So this time, I’m posing a difficult one—the first three correct answers will receive 30 points, and the top scorer gets 45 points!!!
This is a couplet challenge: v (Wěisuǒ nán yòng v ruǎnjiàn kàn wěisuǒ tú). Note that the pronunciation of 'v' here also suggests 'wěisuǒ' (lewd/sleazy). This event lasts for three days, and the top three will be selected. Everyone use your most wicked and lewd thinking—see you in the review section.